Tag: Empowerment

Posted on

The Art of Reframing Negative Situations

Ah, Self-talk – the inner soundtrack of your mind.  Sadly, the majority of people have a negative self-talk track that plays over and over in their head. And interestingly, what most of those people say to themselves they would never dream of saying to someone else! Negative self-talk is so harmful and useless! It’s a dream stealer and a liar! Consider the following 7 situations and see how negative self-talk compares to positive self-talk.

It’s the afternoon, your mind isn’t moving as fast and it’s harder to focus:

Negative self talk: “Here comes my afternoon blahs. I’m not going to get anything done now.“ Positive self talk: “I feel the afternoon drowsiness coming, time to take a break and clear my head.” Bonus tip – that drowsiness is often dehydration … drink a large glass of water and see how you feel. It works like magic as a pick me up.

A client emails you with corrections for a project you sent in the day before:

Negative self talk: “Oh no – she must think I’m an idiot.” Positive self talk: “Great, I can fix these up and get them back to her in no time.”

You realize you forgot to put clothes in the dryer last night:

Negative self talk: “What is the matter with me? Why can’t I do anything right? I have nothing to wear!” Positive self talk: “Oh well. Now I have an excuse to wear a nice dress to run my errands.

Your mother gives you a backhanded compliment on your new hairdo with her usual criticism chaser: 

Negative self talk: “Nothing is ever good enough for her – I’m such a disappointment, why bother anymore?” Positive self talk: “As usual, ma can’t be pleased – oh well – I like it!”

You find out a group of friends got together for coffee and you weren’t invited:

Negative self talk: “They must not like me. I wonder what I did to make them cross with me?” Positive self talk: “Bet they had a nice time. I’m going to remind them to call me next time they meet up.”

You have worked really hard exercising regularly and eating healthy daily. You weigh in only to find the scale shows again:

Negative self talk: “What’s the point, why do I even bother exercising and eating healthy? Clearly, it’s not working because I gained instead of lost.“ Positive self talk: “The scale might not show a loss but I feel great, my clothes are getting looser, I have more energy, and like being active and all the nutritious healthy food I’m feeding my body.  And, if I have gained muscle and lost fat that would account for it.”

You spent hours & lots of time & energy creating and putting together a new product for your market. The launch is a flop and you only sold one.

Negative self talk: “I knew it – I’m a failure at this. Nothing I do is working. I might as well throw in the towel.” Positive self talk: “Well that’s interesting! … I have learnt a lot…I put a product together and released it. I stepped out of my comfort zone and did it. So what only one person bought it so far? That just means I need to market it more. Maybe I can get some people to help me promote it? I can make this work!” Now that you’ve looked at these 7 examples, what did the negative self-talk do? Did it make you feel worse and down and just blah? That’s what happens. Negativity breeds negativity and most important to remember, negative talk is not truth talking. When you looked at the positive self-talk for each situation, didn’t it make you feel empowered, happy and better about yourself? That’s the point! It’s crucial to our health (and sanity!) that we begin to practice a positive self-talk track and replace the negative one. It’s not always easy to do but every time you catch yourself playing the negative track, stop and switch to a positive one instead. Do you catch yourself doing the negative self-talk? And what do you do about it? Leave a comment below, I’d love to know!
Posted on

Is It Your Environment that Needs Changing?

Is It Your Environment that Needs to Change?

Low self-esteem and a lack of confidence can be caused by a number of things. Many people think that to fix low self-esteem, you have to look inside yourself. While it’s true that there are internal things that cause low self-esteem, there are also external factors that can contribute to low self-esteem.

Instead of looking inside for all the reasons you’re not more confident or successful, let’s look at the space you live in. Ask yourself these questions and spend some time thinking about your answers.

Are You Playing Small?

Sometimes we feel small because we’re living small. This doesn’t mean that you have to drop everything and go backpacking through Europe right now or that every moment of your life has to be an epic adventure.

But for many people with low self-esteem, it’s easy to get into a rut. You start believing that you can’t do better and so you stop trying. You create a self-fulfilling prophecy without realizing it. Look at your life right now. What limitations have you accepted without challenging them? What areas of your life have you accepted as “good enough”?

Is it time to update your wardrobe, or throw out the stuff that doesn’t fit well or that doesn’t make you feel good?  Do you have a load of mismatched socks that could be replaced? You deserve more … you deserve better, even if it’s just some new socks!

Are You Encouraged and Uplifted by Your Friends and Family?

We are deeply influenced by the people we spend time with. This can be a good thing if you’re spending time with positive people. But if your friends and family are unkind or negative, that same attitude can rub off on you.

Ask yourself how you’d feel if you didn’t speak to a certain friend or family member for a week. Would you feel relieved at the thought of missing Aunt Sylvia’s rants about the job she hates? Would you feel sad if you missed that call from your sister who helps you see the best in the world?

If there’s someone negative in your life, you don’t have to cut them out completely. But do look for ways to limit your time together and don’t be afraid to change the topic of conversation if things take a negative turn.

You don’t have to pick up the phone every time it rings, especially if it’s someone who abuses the relationship you have by constantly interrupting your life to tell you all about theirs. It’s not that you have to be an awful friend or relative, but you could be a little less available for people who bring you down rather than build you up. Answer the phone to people for your convenience, not theirs.

Are You Pursuing New Experiences?

Often a lack of confidence and self-esteem can be caused by becoming too comfortable. You do the same things, in the same way, every single day. You don’t change things about. You don’t challenge yourself to experience new things and you don’t go beyond what’s safe and comfortable. This can cause you to stop growing as a person. It can also make your world seem smaller and contracted. A life lived in black and white rather than full colour!

When you go outside your normal routine and look for new experience, you open yourself up. You discover new ways to do things. You find solutions that you wouldn’t have come up with any other way. You learn more about yourself and the world around you.

You can find new experiences into your life just by looking for opportunities outside of your comfort zone. Try a different type of cuisine. Drive a different route to work. Volunteer at an organization that you wouldn’t typically support. Take a weekend road trip and see where you end up. If I have time, I often drive around a new area of town, a new housing development or go through a village I don’t normally drive through, just to see something different or to learn a different route or area.

Do you exercise?

It’s really important to move your body. Nowadays it’s easy to get stuck in a routine that has you sitting far longer than is healthy. Are you a member of a gym or club? Do you exercise at home with DVDs? Can you walk up escalators or use the stairs more?

Whatever your level of fitness, you can mix it about and change your habits, and little changes and challenges, nothing overwhelming, can really change the feelings you have about yourself and your body.

Exercise is one of the best ways to release stress from your body and that is a necessity for most of us. A small amount of exercise can change your brain when it comes to relieving stress and is so much better than reaching for alternative ways to self soothe. You know what I mean!… too many glasses of wine, snacks in front of the TV or cigarettes. Make some tweaks … you will begin to feel better about yourself and take on a new attitude to everything around you, and who knows where it might lead.

Your environment shapes your self-confidence, so don’t be afraid to look around at your life and make some changes. Surround yourself with people and experiences that build up your self-esteem and make you happy.

Discover how your environment is impacting you with a free bonus workbook.

You can get it HERE

Leave a comment below.

If you feel like the joy has been sucked out of your life and want some clarity on how you can get it back, contact me.

Posted on

Start by knowing what you want in 2019

Start by Knowing What You Want

When it comes to choosing a theme for the upcoming year, you can start by thinking about what you want more of. If you’re not sure, consider these questions about the different areas of your life.

To really dig deep, rate yourself in each and decide where you’d like to see growth. Then ask yourself, “What do I want to create in these areas? What do I want to see more of? What do I want to see less of?”

Family and Friends

Are you happy in your relationships? Are you spending enough time with the people you love? Are you regularly speaking the love languages of those you care about? How would you rate your relationships overall?

Your Career

Are you on the path toward where you want to be? Does your career align with your values? For example, if you value being home and raising little ones then a career on the fast-track that has you constantly traveling isn’t going to be the best alignment. How would you rate your career overall?

Health

Do you wake up each morning energized and ready to go or do you feel sluggish, tired, and unmotivated? Are you making time to move your body each day and prepare nourishing meals? Have you sought out experts like a doctor or chiropractor for any health issues that you’re experiencing? How would you rate your health overall?

Spirituality and Faith

What kind of energy are you creating in your life and in your relationships? Do you feel at peace with the universe? Do you anticipate good things happening to you and for you? How are you living out the values of your spirituality in your day-to-day life? How would you rate your spirituality or faith overall?

Wealth

Are you financially stable or are you living paycheck to paycheck? Do you have a monthly budget that makes you feel confident about where your money is going? Do you have a savings plan in place for things like retirement and college? How would you rate your wealth overall?

Achievement

What do you want to achieve? Are there goals on your achievement list that you’ve realized aren’t important or don’t belong there? What are some new achievements you’d like to add to the list? How would you rate your current level of achievements overall?

Fun

What activities do you consider fun? Are you prioritizing them? Are you regularly taking time away for fulfilling activities that energize you? How would you rank your fun experiences overall?

Ideally, you want to rank your satisfaction with these areas of your life on a scale of 1-10. There’s no right or wrong answer—if it feels like a 5 to you, then it is. If an area scores low, ask yourself why and consider what you need to change in your life.

 Transform your life with one simple word.

Find out how when you download your free workbook!

Let me know what you choose … I love hearing what works for people.

Leave a comment below.

and,

If you feel like the joy has been sucked out of your life and want some clarity on how you can get it back, contact me.

Posted on

Why you might not want a psychic reading.

 

What comes to mind when you think of someone having a psychic reading?

Crystal balls, trance mediums, voices from beyond, your future foretold?

Well, let me tell you right now, if that is what you want from this neck of the woods, it’s not going to happen.

Why? … it’s disempowering.

Think about it … why do you want to know your future?

and,

why do you want someone else to tell you about it?

Go on, take a moment or two to answer that for yourself, if you are in the situation of contemplating having a psychic reading.

Good… got the answers, are they anything like this…?

  • I want to know what is going to happen in my relationship.
  • I want to know if I’m going to lose my job.
  • I want to know if my mother has a message for me.
  • I want to know what to do next because …
  • I want to know if anything bad is going to happen.
  • I don’t believe in any of this and I want you to prove differently.

So say you had a reading and they told you the answer to one of your questions.

Then what?

What are you going to do next?

  • Panic?
  • Sell up?
  • Give up?
  • Beat yourself up?
  • Have more unanswered questions?

None of that is moving you forward. Nothing listed here is offering you a solution.

All it does is create more of the same kind of feelings and dead-end actions.

Seeking these kinds of readings, at best takes your power away.

How can it do otherwise, since you are giving your power to someone else?

At worst, it makes you dependent on someone else. You might feel you have to go back and get more of your unanswered questions fulfilled.

Someone else is doing your work for you. You are not in command of your life.

Disempowered and dependant?

No, not on my watch.

My purpose and everything I do is about empowering women to live better lives. To know themselves more fully, warts and all, so that can create the outcomes they want.

In fact, the warts are the best part because they are generally what is holding you back. Get to the bottom of those, and things move way more easily! You get to create the life that you always thought possible but didn’t  know how.

My purpose is not to make you dependant upon me.

My services use my intuitive skills as a way to empower you. To help you find your answers and with my help find the outcomes and solutions that move you forward.

The reason I use intuitive tools is that I find it speeds up the whole process.

We get there quicker. I like speed!  I don’t want you on a two-year course with me. I want you in your own perfect next step action!

The thing is, something is going to change. If you want something different in your life then something has to. There must be a clearing out, a dying away of something, to make space for the new. It cannot be any other way.

Since change is hard for most of use, especially if it is forced upon us, you might need help and support.

Why not usher in change at your pace?

Why not take the reins and be in command of your own creative life force?

 

You can create anything, since all great things start with a thought!

All shitty things start with a thought too!

 

Since you might be contemplating a psychic or Intuitive Reading, have a look at what I offer as ways to work with me.  Check it out HERE

You might like to join my Insiders too, as I make all special offers available there and I have a few special offers lined up for the New Year, 2018.

You can join here.

 

Until next time – Cheerybye!